Sunday, July 6, 2008

Dhoom: 2, or, "I'm sorry, did you say something? I was busy consuming the eye candy."

One thing's for sure: with advertisement like this, you cannot complain that Dhoom: 2 doesn't deliver precisely what it promises: mindless candy fluff that features scantily-dressed EVERYBODY (except Abhi, poor dude: c'mon, man, hairiness never stopped Alec Baldwin from taking off his shirt and it shouldn't stop you either), explosions, and superficial dialogue with a story that strains all credulity. Yesssssss.

Dhoom: 2 is a 2006 film starring Abhishek Bachchan, Hrithik Roshan, Aishwarya Rai, Uday Chopra, and Bipasha Basu, with a special appearance by Rimi Sen as Abhi's knocked-up wife Sweeti.

Oh, did you want a plot synopsis? Why? Look at all the beautiful people! And Uday! (Okay, sorry, Uday, clearly you worked hard on your abs for this shoot and you deserve mad props.) Fine, then: Jai Dixit (Abhi) and his sidekick Ali (Uday) are cops who obviously have a tremendous budget but no back-up, considering their opening action sequence. Ali's the kind of guy who keeps his police I.D. on him during an undercover operation. Jai's the kind of guy who never cracks a smile, but does assure his cranky pregnant wife that he could get plenty of side action if he wanted it. Except he doesn't because he's "decent." Whatever. Do I care about any of these characters? Not much. Do I want to keep on watching? Heck yes.

They're hot on the trail of international thief "Mr. A" (Hrithik) who opens the film with a Mission: Impossible-style heist from a queen who's an obvious knock-off of Elizabeth II. Take that, Raj-hungover wannabe Imperialist! You'll get that crown back when we see the Kohinoor in India again!

Bips plays ACP Shonali Bose, an old classmate of Jai's who shows up in time to make Sweeti eat her pre-dinner popcorn in a furor of jealousy, help with the case not at all, and dance a hot salsa-flavored number with Jai at their extremely sexy class reunion. Most class reunions I've seen in real life have featured a drunk D.J. and balding overweight people trying to recapture their teen angst, but this looks like way more fun.

Along the way, Mr. A hooks up with petty thief Sunehri (Aishwarya), who laces her conversation with "like" and speaks about herself, like, in the third person. A lot. But hey, she's gorgeous so who cares? Certainly not Mr. A, or Aryan as he reveals himself to be after spending about ten minutes with her, losing all discretion because she is HAWT. Do I care about either of them? Not much. Do I want to keep watching? Heck yes.

They fly to Rio to get ready for their next heist, and Jai and Ali follow hot on their heels, staying with Shonali's sister Monali (also Bips). Explosions, gunfights, and Russian roulette ensue. Do I care about how it ends? Not much. Do I want to keep on watching? Heck yes!

Like I said, you get what you came for. If you came expecting some sort of fine art, then you must be visually impaired, and that is a shame because you are totally missing out on the six best reasons to see this movie (i.e. each of Hrithik's abs). Or, if you bat for the other team, the other six best reasons to see this movie (i.e. Aish and Bips' T&A, although there isn't much left of Aish's A since Yash Raj contractually required her to lose a bunch of weight that she couldn't afford to lose). It's not like they fooled you with esoteric TV spots and mysterious trailers. Don't complain if they deliver precisely what's promised.

"Kyaa love story hai."

Actually, this is one of the few movies in which I did not like Abhi's character at all and I didn't wince at Hrithik's roadrunner-on-speed thing he does when his character is supposed to be heartbroken. (Dang it! Just hold still and let me drool over you!) In fact, I actually liked Aryan better than Jai, which I guess isn't surprising when Hrithik wears the bare minimum of above-the-waist clothing and seduces everyone, of both genders, with whom he comes into contact. I don't think it's Aishwarya's fault that Abhi and Hrithik have better chemistry than she and Hrithik do.

Aish has a natural elegance and delicacy of bone structure that doesn't lend itself well to the role of street-savvy wannabe tough. Also, she looks tired in this role. I'm not sure if it was a more-rapid-than-usual shoot, the international travel (though surely she's accustomed to that), a role that's unsuited to her personality, the weight loss, or a bad hair stylist and makeup artist, but she doesn't have her usual vibrancy. Maybe it's all those factors. Still, she does her job, even down to that awful Michael Jackson impression in "Crazy Kya Re."

Bipasha does a decent job in her dual roles, switching easily between focused police officer and goofy, English-only dilletante who apparently earns her living by looking great. Uday's...not as annoying as I expected. And he's actually kind of funny in "My Name is Ali."

The soundtrack is fun, if a little repetitive by the time we get to "Dil Laga Na." The dance numbers exist only to be played on MTV Asia, but they're fun too.

And ooo, look! Things blowing up! And pretty people! And exotic locales! And jet skis and motorcycles and helicopters and guns! I like it I like it! Don't you like it? What's not to like? Provided you go in expecting what's promised, I'd say that Dhoom:2 is worth every penny.


  1. I HATED it. A friend made me re-watch it recently and I was like a little kid, shifting around, whining, all but saying "Are we there yet?" BLEH.

    My main complaint of any substance is that it's such waste of Abhishek.

  2. Poor Beth. I don't think your friend was very friendly. :-D I loved it because I love brainless froth. Like the first Fast and the Furious? Loved it. So it's not surprising I loved this too I guess.

  3. I think Abhi didn't show his stomach because he was fat while it was being made.

    I watched it, got through it, never need to see it again. But I'm glad you enjoyed it :-) I guess for my mindless entertainment I want Rooms of Ice and crazy subtitles in addition to the eye candy. Greedy, that's what I am.

  4. LOL memsaab, you ARE greedy! Isn't a freaky side-by-side picturization of Uday next to Jesus' statue in Rio enough for you? ;-)

    I would think, based on the other blogs I've read and its thread at BollyWHAT?, that I'm the only person on the planet who ever enjoyed it except for its massive box office returns. I guess it's one of the few times I'm in sync with the desi audience.

  5. No Ajnabi, you arent alone. I LOVED it for several good reasons too - Hrithik, Hrithik, Hrithik, etc. Who cares about plots, acting, coherence (yup I usually do), dialogues, or anything else for that matter, when you can drool over Hrithik! :-D

    I am soooooo glad you enjoyed it - I've been feeling like the resident Dhoom2 apologist in North America with everybody telling me that it wasnt a patch on Dhoom 1!!!

  6. Pooor Abhi, he looked so blobby in this, but he flexed his muscles nevertheless. i Agree with u ajnabi this is brilliant mindless logicless froth especially Hritik as a statue, Hritik as an old lady, Hritik as a mad scarfed man, sooo many avatara but still HAAAWT, and the kiss, i liked it, it was very teenagery

  7. Yay, bollyviewer and rum! I'm so glad I'm not the lone Dhoom 2 lover. Let's form a club and put a sign on our clubhouse door: "NO DHOOM 1 LOVERS ALLOWED." Or we could just blog about it. ;-)

  8. Yah girl! I loved Dhoom 2 too! Girl, glad to know you like humor like this. You'll definitely will like my taste then, hehehe. Are there any other films which you are curious about? I may have seen it and I will review it if you want. :D I won't be as detail as you though. :D

  9. we have to build a fort around our clubhouse saying Abhi Blobbiness Sympathy fund

  10. Yeah, Nicki! I would love to read your thoughts on Traffic Signal if you haven't done it yet. :-) I'm sure I'll think of more as the day goes on.

    And Rum--we also need a collections box, for the "feed Abhi veg fund." ;-)

  11. Abhishek was SO sullen throughout the movie- maybe becos he WAS fat, and maybe also a bit jealous of the v gorgeous hritik? I feel he definitely didnt have to be, and would have come out looking tons hotter if he had only embraced his inner (and outer) fatness...:D

  12. Shweta--actually in a few scenes he looked quite trim, particularly in the Taj jewelry museum. I think he must've started out the shoot overweight from Guru (if I'm getting my timelines right) and then slimmed down over the course of the film. I don't care. My Abhi-love is pure and survives his fluctuations of weight. ;-)

  13. Yeah, Abhishek can look however he wants and I will love him still.

  14. Right on, Beth! I think I'll have to do a series of close-up screencaps of his gut with a giant I (heart) over it. Hmmmm. Or maybe I'll just go and drool over your JBJ banner screencap.

  15. Didn't like DHOOM 2 much at all.....BTW this s Praz (ex alias is Akshay Shah)!

  16. Finally got to see it.. I had such low expectations from it(the bad reviews kinda scared me a little) but I gotta say I liked it!! Goodness knows we've seen worse mindless fluff but never so much beauty on one platter!
    My boy Hrithik is just too hot to handle. "swoon"

  17. Hi Praz! I'm sorry you didn't like it... but maybe you're enjoying Filmi
    Girl's recaps?

    E: 2006 Hrithik was utterly irresistible. Come baaaaaack, sexy!Hrithik, come baaaaaaack!


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