Monday, May 3, 2010
I'm not sure how Akshaye Khanna feels about acting, or about anything really. I waver between the opinions that it's a pastime for him, a welcome break from the monotony of wealth and privilege, or the feeling that he's just caught a series of bad roles by chance, or that as his hairline receded, so did his ambition.
One of his better roles in one of his better films, that of Sid-the-sensitive-artist in Dil Chahta Hai, is the focus of one of the most surreal picturizations in the many-spangled history of Bollywood. The first few times I saw it, I couldn't help but cringe and peer from behind my fingers, screeching, "No! They didn't!" For the rest of the film I couldn't look at Sid without remembering that here was a guy who saw his love for a woman--for Dimple Kapadia!--like this. Now, however, I think maybe I can see where Farhan Akhtar was going with it. (Or whoever directed the sequence. I know that choreographers usually direct big numbers but this wasn't that sort of song so I'm not sure who was in charge of the camera.)
(One of my favorites at Television Without Pity, recapping god Jacob, mentioned that there's always a moment, in fandom, where you look at what's happening in front of you onscreen and you hope hope hope that no one you've raved to about this show/movie/whatever happens to tune in at precisely that moment. "Kaisi Hai Yeh Rut" is that moment from Dil Chahta Hai.)
(I love parentheses.)
So, like I said, I think I see where the director of this sequence was going... Whether or not it's a success is left to the judgment of the viewer. Let's take a closer look. Because this song deserves the Filmi Girl Dhoom:2 treatment.
Sid's alone, waiting for Dimple/Tara to come out.
Finally, she emerges, fan in full force.
Sid's appropriately stunned.
Never mind, let's just get this started. Of course, not five minutes pass before...
She's checking out his sketching--sketching performed, I might add, straight upon the canvas with no preliminary paper work. My, Sid, kya confidence hai.
"What? Are you serious?"
"Just sit here. Good girl."
"You know what Dimple is like? She's like a painted river in a painted forest with a painted easel."
"No! I know! She's like a McCallister's Paint-by-Number I once saw!"
Tellingly, Tara is not actually present in any of these fantasies. A shooting star, however, does make an appearance. (Behind Akshaye.)
Whoa! Dysmorphia! Sid gets turned upside down (get it? geddit?!)...
And merges with Tara's hair.
She's like the moon to him. Heh. Heh.
Sid works and works.
Very serious artists have ten of each color.
His biggest focal point is her eyes. I think it's something about the windows of the soul thing.
More with the eyes.
That's... Um... Well, we'll just call that a work in progress, shall we?
His other big focal point? Her mouth. **touching paintmouth as he will never be able to caress realmouth**
Sid works so hard that he falls asleep in a chiropractor's worst nightmare.
He's up with the dawn, though.
"I... am... Superpainter!"
"Yeah... Maybe not quite yet."
"Her eyes... They're nearly perfect... She's almost as tortured as a tortured artist!"
"Know what else Dimple is like? She's like blue skies."
"And bubbles. Yes, bubbles."
(Note that, once again, the object of his fascination is nowhere in his mind. True to type, he's in love with his idea of Tara more than Tara herself.)
**brushes hand through weirdly pixelating grass**
These bubbles are pretty tough. He can really mess with them.
"Yes! YES! A pot of gold! I never have to find a patron!"
"Please, God, let me die before anybody I know sees this."
The finished product, in bits and pieces:
Windswept blossoms. Or possibly autumn leaves.
A FREAKING TEDDY BEAR WITH A PARACHUTE. Clearly Sid's artistic vision was acquired from his 10-year-old feminine side.
A little girl with a parachute. I guess that could be about her daughter.
ANOTHER. FREAKING. BEAR.
Those eyes! They haunt him! And they're not nearly as scary as the drifting bears!
Of course, all this effort and rainbows is useless if Tara doesn't like it.
What will she think?
She loves it, of course.
"Phew! I can actually sleep in bed again; what a relief!"