Friday, July 9, 2010

Shameful Classics Week, or, Yaaaadeeeeiiiiiinnnn,Yaaaaaaaadeeeeeiiiiiin

Oh yeah.

You know that any movie featuring stock footage of a crocodile (or alligator. Somehow I have never learned how to tell the two apart, and honestly, don't feel like you need to educate me, the uncertainty is part of the fun), with Bebo doing her best to look terrified of it before passing out in a fear-induced coma, is going to be SHAMEFUL.

(All screencaps in this post are from my epic Adventures in YouTube post on the film, in which I tell the entire movie in about 25 stills with appropriate commentary.)

So what makes Yaadein so awesome? Is it the part where the mom gets mowed down by a bunch of machine-gun-wielding villains and the police completely ignore her? Or the part where the director breaks the fourth wall and talks directly to us about Hrithik and Kareena's inevitable hookup?

From Paisa Vasool--Or Not


Is it the fantastic fashion choices?

From Paisa Vasool--Or Not
From Paisa Vasool--Or Not
From Paisa Vasool--Or Not


Or is it the Coke?

From Paisa Vasool--Or Not
From Paisa Vasool--Or Not
From Paisa Vasool--Or Not
From Paisa Vasool--Or Not


Yeah. It's the coke, by which I mean cocaine, which is what everyone involved in this movie was snorting during its production, judging by the results.

So in case you haven't been initiated into the wonder that is Yaadein (Memories), here ya go. Raj (Jackie Shroff,

From Paisa Vasool--Or Not


who looks awesome, btw) lives in London as a comfortably middle-class subordinate to a friend who is richer than God. The friend's older brother is Amrish Puri, with inexplicably red hair. The friend's son is Hrithik. Raj's wife is killed in a random act of violence, but not before she adjures her husband to be their daughters' friend as the girls approach adulthood. Their daughters Avantika, Isha (played by Kareena), and Sanya, who is more annoying than a three-year-old who hasn't eaten or slept for a week, all make some interesting life choices after their mother's passing. No, I take that back. Avantika couldn't be more boring.

And lo, it is shameful shamefulness. There are immolation threats, sexy joint workouts, dozens of poorly cloned Hrithiks dancing on the beach, Kareena winning a bike race, anti-NRI sentiments


(SHE WANTS TO LIVE IN HER OWN HOUSE WITH HER HUSBAND BUT WITHOUT THEIR PARENTS AND NOT HAVE CHILDREN FOR FIVE YEARS OMG SHE IS EVIIIIILLLLLLL), and a passionate speech about elders delivered to color-coded-placard-waving participants at what's supposed to be a business merger. Also, the clothes, which are heavy on the Hrithik headbands and arm porn.

So why do I love it? Three words. MEL. O. DRAMA. I can't help it! It's awful, yes, but I love Hrithik and Kareena together. It's got songs like "Chanda Tarre:"




In which Jackie waxes eloquent on runaway lovers, Amrish sets a helicopter off in search of a vanished HrithiKareena, and the two delinquents themselves take a boat out in the English Channel for no reason whatsoever except to sing to each other about how they can't live without one another for hours. And then they go home! Her dad meets them at the dock! The helicopter never finds them! It is everything that is right and wrong with the movie.

Also Hrithik's mom talks to Jackie and apparently makes a persuasive case for...something, but we never find out what because it's all silent, although we do get to hear some nonsense code on the helicopter radio because that was way more important. And then we end on a callback to the theme song. It COULDN'T GET BETTER THAN THIS, PEOPLE.

(Look at those two hanging all over each other. I want these crazy kids to make it!)

Seriously, it's Hrithik and Kareena all the way with this film.



Who else could pull off this scene? (Some would argue, no one has in fact pulled off this scene. Clearly, I beg to differ.)

Also, the music is great.

There ya have it. I'll leave you with a quote from the epic post: Objectively, I know it's worth approximately two cents and that almost everybody who sees it hates it. Subjectively, I can't help myself. I cry every time Isha goes running out of the house and sobs on that bench. You've been forewarned.

This post is part of the Rumalicious Shameful Classics Week blogathon. Be sure to check out all the entries starting here.

10 comments:

  1. Ohh my gosh! I applaud you for sitting through this shameful film, which i kinda love too! Just for that silly speech where Hritik goes "Is that right that we can't love eachother" at that meeting where they act like pantomine and say OHH NO IT ISN'T! For that speech alone I completely love it for the million Hritiks stomping about on the beach!

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  2. I don't love it, but less-than-average Bebo is better than no Bebo, no matter how shameful the classic! ;)

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  3. I don't know if I ever finished watching this film, or if I just blocked half of it out because OH MY GOODNESS IT IS SOOOOOO BAD! I do remember the croco-gator (genius! it was the best bit!) and the Hrithik clones (cracktastic!) and how the whole film seemed like a really really long Coke ad. This is an amazing choice for Shameful Classic, I applaud you!

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  4. Okay, I'm considering watching this movie just to see how they fit a crocogator into it...

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  5. What would life be if we couldn't love things we shouldn't?

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  6. Rum: The Greek chorus that is the audience during Hrithik's final speech is so awesome. I mean, that's where it finally crosses the line from WTF into TOTAL SURREALITY.

    tBF: I'll take as much of Bebo as I can get; I'm totally with you on that. :-D

    Ness: Oh, if you blocked out half you're missing half the fun!

    Anarchivist: You totally should. And then be sure to post about it. There just isn't enough Yaadeination in the blogosphere.

    Memsaab: A poor and paltry shade of what could be, that's what. ;-)

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  7. I'm with Anarchavist and decree that this must be watched at our first mega international Bolly slumber party! Or at least in a giant watchalong!

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  8. Beth, that would be awesome! I am SO THERE.

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  9. I'll second Beth - This movie was made for a get together with friends, every scene is a fresh laugh and every new costume is an even bigger laugh.
    This can very well be the Bollywood "Plan 9 from outer space" - and I don't know why it hasn't developed cult status yet. We should embrace the "Yaadein" badness!!

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  10. Thank you for confessing to your shameful love for Yaadein so I didn't have to be first! :-D I'd heard so many bad things about it that I don't think there was any way it could have lived down to my expectations by the time Netflix sent it to me. There was just nowhere to go but up.

    I sometimes find myself, at the oddest times, wondering WHY Kareena and Hrithik didn't do something useful, like eloping, instead of hanging out on a boat all day. And that's the sign of a good movie, right? That it stays with you long after the credits have rolled?...Right? ;-)

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